I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
