tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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