I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
