Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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