I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
