i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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