How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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