i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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