I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
