i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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