How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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