There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
