please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
