You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
