Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
