Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
