I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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