end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
