never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
