My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
