It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
