Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
