I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize