those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
