He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
