Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
