He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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