my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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