Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
