I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
