Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
