did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
