my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
