dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
