if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
