honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
