perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
