two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just high enough for therapy.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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