Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
