omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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