You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
