Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize