OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize