She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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