Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
