I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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