you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
