If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
