Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
