Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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