i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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