let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
