are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
